For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.-Jeremiah 29:11
For years, that verse was spoken over me. In seasons when I wasn't walking with the Lord or in difficult seasons, the Lord always brought someone to remind me of this verse.
My response was always the same...'' what plans?"
I never received a response and, to tell you the truth, I never really believed that scripture was true for me. See, an upbringing with trauma and chaos led me to feel pretty without hope when it came to my future. I didn't see any 'plan'...I just did my best to survive and get through my circumstances.
But from the moment I met the Lord at age eight, I was able to recognize that He was my hope and that He could carry me through anything. So even though I didn't know His plan, I had hope that maybe He really did have something more for me.
More than I could hope for.
More than my past or current pain.
More than the patterns or generational cycles that I was born into.
I would see Christians with joy and say, "God, I want that."
I would hear Christians talk about a loving relationship with God and say, "How do I get that?"
I would see Christians who had a trauma-filled past walk in victory and pray, "God, can you do that for me too?"
And then I started dreaming of more than just surviving or having a good job in this life.
I started dreaming of a godly marriage to a man of prayer.
I started dreaming of writing books, articles, and substantive material that would encourage others in their faith.
I dreamt of having a family where I would raise children who would see generational blessings instead of living in the sins of their parents.
And I dreamt I would be a woman who sparks hope in those around me.
The Lord has heard my prayers throughout the years and is delighted to mold me into a woman who could walk these dreams out.
I'm always inclined to think that God's 'plan' is specific and targeted, with a vision, purpose statement, and measurable goals. I suppose that's the project manager in me. But as I look back at what the Lord has done in my life, how He has healed me, the woman I have become and the new marriage He has blessed me with I am starting to see that maybe God's plan was always bigger than what my eyes could see. Maybe His plans were bigger than any vision statement could capture.
I realize that my life is not my own and that God has chosen me to be the steward of His love, grace, faithfulness, and salvation in my generational line.
His plan was always for me to be set apart so that He could break apart generational curses and start a line of generational blessings.
His plan was to mold me into a woman with a victorious spirit who could fight for the future of her children's children's children.
This is a plan I could have never understood or fathomed the many times I asked God "What's your plan for me?" Like the all-knowing God He is, He knew what I really needed was hope for a better future for generations to come. And that, my friend, is a big enough plan for me.