Sometimes...often actually, I realize my limitations with helping people and I chose to feed myself over feeding them. This isn't necessarily a bad thing. This is self-care at it's finest. This is putting on my oxygen mask before helping others put on theirs. I can run myself ragged with working a full-time job, going to school, and running a ministry online. So I try to be discerning of when I need rest, when I need to push in, and when I need to pray.
Sometimes this means I push myself to feed people spiritually and physically when I have no strength in me. Sometimes this means I disappoint people and say no when they need me.
There's no perfect science to it. Sometimes I get it wrong. Sometimes I should help and I don't. Other times, I shouldn't help but I do.
I'm learning that no matter the case, God's grace can handle it.
He can handle it when I pass that person by and don't offer a kind word or something to eat.
He can handle it when I chose to ignore the needs in front of me because I'm tired.
He can handle it when I put myself in situations I shouldn't and help where I'm not needed.
He can handle it when I fix things that aren't broken.
I'm learning that His grace is sufficient for me in all circumstances. My heart is to be near the Father, but sometimes I'm just too tired and I can't do it all. Sometimes the needs around me are too overwhelming and it's easier to pretend I don't see them than to let my heart bleed for every need I see.
I'm learning to let go of guilt. I'm one person. I can't possibly meet every need. His grace can. I'm not the superhero of this story. So I'm letting go of guilt for the times that I say no or simply come up short.
I'm learning to give myself grace. Grace to be imperfect. Grace to come up short. Grace to be a person with needs myself.
I'm learning it's okay to put my oxygen mask on first. I'm learning that it's okay to take time for me first. I'm learning it's okay to say yes to me first.
Because here's the thing, unless I give myself the grace, care, time and attention I need, I'm only going to have a half-rate version of myself to offer the world.
Let's all take time to care for ourselves more. Get alone with God. Take a bath. Go into the mountains. Rest.
What do you need to do today for you?
What areas do you need His grace to cover you?