About a year ago I started HeartStance. Though I had been publicly writing and sharing my post for years, it was only about a year ago that I launched HeartStance with the intent to put everything in one place and my dreams into action. In the matter of months, I created this website, wrote a ton of blogs and articles, wrote the HeartStance book and spoke at a conference with many in attendance. Talk about a rush. Years of dreaming, planning and writing accumulated in one place in what seemed to be a flash. The result was my dreams being fulfilled and a majored dose of victory in accomplishment. But I wasn't prepared for what would happen next: a massive almost year-long vulnerability hangover. I poured my heart and soul out for the world to see and woke up the next day feeling 'what did I just do?!'. Frozen by shame, I just hid for months not even looking at the HeartStance website or writing a single word again. I have since learned, that these feelings can be normal for a writer (or for taking big risk) and I find comfort that I am not alone in my feelings.
It's not easy to be vulnerable. It's downright scary. It takes risk and faith to put yourself out there. Be it applying for a new job, dating, moving to a new place or even just showing someone you care; it all takes being vulnerable and putting your heart, hopes and dreams out there to be crushed or accepted.
But without vulnerability there can be no victory.
Read that again: without vulnerability there can be no victory.
What is it that you are dreaming for? What have you been planning or preparing in your mind? The only way to get there is to risk. To be vulnerable. Maybe even fail. But to try anyway. And to go for it.
I wouldn't exchange my year-long vulnerability hangover for not creating HeartStance. The vulnerability and icky-feelings were worth it. I just hope next time, the hangover doesn't last as long.
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