This year, I learned that I'm not a superhero. And I'm okay with that.
I suppose you can say I got over my superhero complex. For those who don't know, a superhero complex is when a person wants to or thinks he or she can help or save everyone.
You know that friend who jumps at every person's need, is always there no matter what time of day, or will drive herself mad trying to help you? Or that person who is trying to "do it all". Or worse, the person who creates problems that don't exist, so that they can help you out of those problems. Yeah, that might very well be a superhero complex at its finest.
Don't get me wrong, there are some people that God has gifted with an extraordinary ability to be everything to everyone. But I'm not one of them. And I'm guessing you aren't either.
Now, I'd like to tell you that this year I had a massive revelation with the Lord and a breakthrough in this area, but it's simply not true. In all honesty, I didn't even realize I was a fake superhero in the making. Instead, this was a year of saying "no", a year of turning down opportunities, stepping away from partnerships, removing toxic situations, and a year of not trying to do "all the things" so that I could focus on just one thing.
At the beginning of the year, I felt God prompting me to focus on writing. Just writing. Not running meetings or conferences. Not publishing magazines. Not building a brand or business. "Just write like you are a writer", is what I felt the Lord speak. A natural result of this focus was to say "no" to a lot of things and people. And after months of saying "no", I am realizing that God has been freeing me of this idea that I need to be the hero of my story...or the hero of your story. He is pruning away the childhood trauma of carrying burdens that did not belong to me and reteaching me to only hold what He has entrusted me with. This pruning has taken me away from what social media tells me success looks like and has planted me in the arms of the Father. As He has pruned away even the good things I carried, He made space for me to lean on Him more fully, to depend on Him in areas I lent to others, and to let go of the lie that I can be anyone's superhero, including my own.
This year, perhaps for the first time in my life, I have been able to experience what it feels like to carry only what belongs to me. And it's a weight I can get used to.
"I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. 2 He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful." -John 15:1-2
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